Photo by Emily from Military Love

Friday, January 28, 2011

1:35 AM

Its after one in the morning and I lay here awake. It's all his fault of course, my mind cannot wander away from him. It's amazing how much my heart can love that man so much. In fact Brad Paisley's song "then" perfectly explains, how my heart feels towards my husband. If you haven't heard it  click here
As I have stated before, I do believe distance makes the heart grow fonder. No civilian wife will ever know the feelings I get when I see my soldier after weeks, months, or a year for the first time. It gives me the butterfly's I had when he first kissed me.
I still remember the first time I took him to meet my parents. I was so nervous, I couldnt wait to introduce the man that I would spend the rest of my life in love with. Now three years later, my family knows as well as I do what an amazing man I have in my life. I am so blessed to have such a supportive family towards Joseph and I and our lifestyle.
I know Joe being gone has a lot to do with it, but my baby fever has been on an all time high lately :). But it comes and goes. Sometimes I think about and know that I am not "ready" to have the responsibility of a child. But I know for sure that one day I will be oh so proud to have a child with my husband, knowing he/she is something we made together and nothing else will compare.
Joe and I have hurdles to climb that not every married couple have to face, including military couples. But I am here for the long run and I will do anything for my husband and I know he will do the same.
It makes me feel so good knowing I have a husband that wants to provide for me, us, in every way possible. He truly is a blessing and I think God everyday for putting him in my life. No matter the roads we both traveled to get where we are, every mile was worth it.
There are days I wonder if I am cut out for the military lifestyle, but then I remember all the amazing friendships i've made on this journey and the most supportive family that will be there for me whether I am at rock bottom or sky high, and most definatley the husband I have. All that, makes these long nights, alone, worth every minute of sadness I may feel in my entire life.
I am such a sap for song lyrics! In fact I am going to put up a list of deployment songs that I will sit and listen to and cry to for hours :), one of these days that is, i have to get them together!

"I can't live without,
All I think about,
All I want is you,
You're all I dream about,
I can't live without,
All I want is you,
I just can't live without you,
When all I think about is you,
And all I want is you"

-All I want by Staind <3

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