Photo by Emily from Military Love

Monday, January 17, 2011

Another night I lay here in bed with a million thoughts going through my head. Is my husband sleeping right now, what exactly are my plans for deployment, do I really step on peoples toes more often than I realize with my big mouth and outspokeness? Yes, that is how much crazyness and randomness is going through my mind as I lay here lol. I heard a line on tv today that went something like this "we all know distance does not make the heart grow fonder, it only makes us realize how we can go on without the other person." but see I disagree with that. As much as I dislike Joseph being gone I am always thankful for the eye opening experience I have. It always reminds me of how lucky I am to have found this amazing man at a young age and known I wanted to spend my life with him as my husband and that I get too. I remember so many people having reservations about us getting married so soon and I'm not saying there hasn't been times I've had to fight for our marriage to work but I am so very thankful that we've proven them all wrong and that we fought to keep our happyness. I was reading my friends blog about unanswered prayers and it reminds me of my similar situation. Ever since Joe and I got married I've related so closely to Garth Brooke's song "Unanswered Prayers". See for 2 years of my life I thouht I was with the one God had picked for me. And even the times I knew in my heart that it may be my blind love that was teling me that I would pray every moment I got that God would show me what to do to make us work but I only buried myself deeper into this hole pain that took me a long time to get out of. I strongly agree that everything happens for a reason and that I had to through all the ups and downs to get to that hole. If it weren't for that hole o never would of found the Man I now call my husband.
Deployment. Blah. I don't want my husband going back into a war zone but I know it's his job and he makes me oh so proud every day. The upside is I get the opportunity to move closer to my amazing family! I'm still working out all the kinks but I know it will all pAn out the way God intends it too. Sometimes I forget that I don't have to take on this big ol world alone. God is always there whether I remember or not. He's been through more with me than anyone on this earth. I just need to step back and breathe every once in a while and remember that.

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